A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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A woman wears a dress.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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