Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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A midget walked under a bar.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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