I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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