What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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