How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

bangers and mash?

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

So a blonde walks into a wall...

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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