What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops