PENIS

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Black people stink of shite!

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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