Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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