What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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