How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Women can vote? wtf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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