Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

National security?

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

How will the world end? That information is unknown

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

What happened to the convict on death row? He died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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