roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you give hobos? Febreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops