What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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