Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops