Barack Obama

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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