Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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