What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

My Boyfriend

Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

Jebron Lames.

What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Women's rights.

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

Whats worse than suicide? death

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...