how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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