the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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