How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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