What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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A train poops its pants.

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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