Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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The Morman Religion.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops