What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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One time i was sitting down

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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