Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops