A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Q. who's george porchy?

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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