What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i read the terms of service when i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops