charlie sheen

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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