what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Women's Rights.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops