Replacement Referees

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Do you like apples? Yes

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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