What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -14

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -14

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops