Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

penis?

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

Knock knock

Women's Rights

How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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