What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

What can fly? Lots of things

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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