Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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