What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Compton

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Davey Peterson.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Jellybeans

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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