Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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what?

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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