What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

thumb_up thumb_down +2

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's black and can't swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops