Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

What's green and blue? yellow

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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