Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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