A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +22

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops