Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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