whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

thumb_up thumb_down -22

GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

thumb_up thumb_down -22

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

thumb_up thumb_down -22

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops