If i open this door you can go trough it

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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"Knock knock." "No."

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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