What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops