Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Winter

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"Knock knock." "No."

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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