Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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What's clear and wet? water

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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British Dentistry

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yock

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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cats are pussies

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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