John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops