If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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Poop!!

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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