Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Illumati Confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -25

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops