What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

I work at jcpenny

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.