how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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The Joke Below

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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