Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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5 people are walking

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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