Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My mum is called Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

thumb_up thumb_down

Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

thumb_up thumb_down

BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

thumb_up thumb_down

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

thumb_up thumb_down

banana

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops